I have never understood why so many women can't just say what they mean rather than using this special language. They make us try to figure out what they're really saying. Here's how it works.
Words Women Use:
1.) "Fine!": This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.
2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.
3.) "Nothing.": This is the calm before the storm. This means something and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with "nothing" usually end in "fine." (Refer back to #1 for the meaning of "fine.")
4.) "Go ahead!": This is a dare, not permission. Don't do it!
5.) Loud sigh: This is not actually a word , but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of "nothing.")
6.) "That's okay.": This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.
7.) "Thanks.: A woman is thanking you -- do not question, or faint. Just say you're welcome.
8.) "Whatever!": Is a woman's way of saying YOU ARE AN IDIOT!!!
9.) "Don't worry about it, I got it.": Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told you to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in you asking "what's wrong", and for the woman's response to be, "nothing". (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of "nothing.")
Finally, women have this thing where they think of something and keep it to themselves, and they will not bring it up unless you somehow think of it and bring it up first. For example when my ex appeared angry I would approach her and ask her what’s wrong? She would then for some reason become angrier as if I were supposed to know what was actually wrong.
All I’m trying to get across is why the hell are women so complicated???
